What Fresh hell is the YouTube Kinder egg lady?

Now I watch a lot of vlogs don't get me wrong, hey I've even filmed  badly  a couple of my own here.
I've watched vlogs on Primark hauls, food shopping hauls, how to rearrange the inside of your fridge and how to curl your hair with hair straighteners. Something 16 views later, I'm still unable to master.
My daughter also watches videos on YouTube ( hoist judgey pants now if you wish ) of people doing all sorts of things such as building Lego, she is also obsessed with dantdm. 
Now if Minecraft wasn't already annoying enough,you know having to watch it, listen to the annoying 'click 'click' 'click' of it, and being given a daily play by play of the latest creation. I now have to be subjected to being shown YouTube videos of it; with some guy with blue hair, sitting in his chair (at home, the office? I'm not sure where you are dantdm ) playing Minecraft and then chattering away through the whole bloody thing. There are literally thousands of videos of him doing this as well, and she loves it!
I do show as much interest as I can muster for the little box men walking awkwardly through a 3D world,  a world where its OK to throw cows at each other and name people called creepers, but I just don't share the love, but to my daughter? These gamers are her heroes and they have millions of fans who feel exactly the same way.

I have found that I have to limit what she watches though, as she can become quite obsessed with it, and that's mainly because there is just no getting away from it anymore as it's everywhere! YouTube, the P.C. the tablet, books, bedding, toys, mini figure of dantdm, it's even found it's way onto my bloody phone! A blanket ban a few weeks ago to give her a bit of a break has led it to being re-introduced to a more manageable amount, but here is so much pressure put on them at school and in life in general these days so if Minecraft and these 'gamers' are her down time, if it makes her happy? then that's OK with me.
I must say dantdm you do seem very nice, and very polite, I actually don't mind the sound of your voice when you talk over the video, it doesn't grate on me and give me the urge to kill like some of them  (yes I'm looking at you Little Kelly) I find I can switch it off, a bit like white noise, and I like your cute pug puppies,

Anyway after watching one of these videos on YouTube with my daughter the other day I came across something new. It was a recommended video, I clicked on the link and well, I refer you to my blog title:

What in the fresh hell is the YouTube Kinder egg lady??!

Kids TV shows that I can watch without my eyes bleeding and those that I can't!

Let's be honest, Kids TV shows evoke two reactions when we see them switched on.

1 "Oh ffs not this crap again"

2 "Oh this is OK  I can watch it without my eyes bleeding or wanting to stab myself in the ear with a pen" 

Well it does with me anyway.
Of course Kids watch too much TV these days, mainly because it is everywhere
There aren't just 4 TV channels like there was when I was a kid, when children's TV was only on before or after school (if you were lucky) Or my personal favourite time to watch kids TV, on Saturday mornings. God I mourned the loss of Going Live for such a long time. Nowadays there are channels and channels dedicated to kids TV, and its on 24 hours a day.
Thanks to Sky Plus we can also have a planner full of Operation Ouch episodes and Austin and Ally, so you never have to miss a second, and all these shows are available on tablets, Iphones, Ipads, laptops, YouTube so there's just no escaping it however much you try.

Obviously it's up to us as parents to monitor how much they watch, and what they watch, and I do try. However I'm not going to sit here and tell you my little angel is only allowed 30 minutes a day, because although that is what I always say to myself (and I do say it every single morning) It simply never happens. I also think so much pressure is put on our children at school these days, with after school clubs, homework, and with the change to the SATS it's only going to get worse, they need downtime.
Seren especially needs to unwind, she can sometimes find School difficult, so when she gets home it's her safe haven. It's where she feels she can let off steam, where she needs to relax and to be herself.
If she wants a snack and some TV time? Then that is OK with me.

The blog that's a vlog!

A friend of mine came up with a brilliant Q&A idea for my blog where Seren could ask me anything and I had to answer honestly! The only problem with that is that I could quite easily amend the answers if I wanted to, whereas a vlog would make sure I couldn't wriggle out of anything!The questions were a bit random and they were far tamer than I expected too I think I got off quite easily actually! Although my Mother isn't overly impressed with one of my answers and was still sulking about it this morning. However she has now decided she wants to do a no holds barred  Q&A vlog with me herself eeek I fear that may not end well! (She doesn't want me to actually film her though, she wants to be filmed from the back and can I wait until she had her hair done)
It isn't a perfect video by any means and things I have learnt from this first vlog is:

1. Ensure the dog isn't in the kitchen when we film as I'm pretty sure you can hear him licking himself as I watched it back. Pretty gross, thanks dog.
2. I have rather manly looking hands
3. Get someone else to film it or find a better way to film it as its pretty shaky and my arm hurt! I also wasn't quite sure where to look 
4. Better lighting - it's a bit dark
5. I sound like a well spoken hamster - I hate the sound of my own voice! I was cringing watching it back
6. Try and ensure I'm better groomed next time!

I have watched a lot of vlogs and mine is no where near as shiny, well groomed or glossy as them, it's really not - this stuffs hard! Oh well at least you know we're keeping it real.
It's just a bit of fun but I've enjoyed doing these blogs (and even this vlog) So thanks so much for all the nice messages I've received on here and my facebook page it means a lot.

The video can be watched here links to my facebook page. Don't forget to give it a like!

https://www.facebook.com/mrsrachelokelly-155136868190279/

Rachel x

15 things that are guaranteed to piss me off.

I tried to come up with a wittier, slightly more sophisticated title but lets be honest 'Things that are guaranteed to piss me off'" sums it up pretty well.


1. Basic manners: A teacher once said to me that manners cost nothing, they are free. It's true, nothing pisses me off more than a lack of basic manners. I always say please and I always say thankyou, if you ever see me lacking in doing so then feel free to deliver a small sharp kick to the shin. I am the first to call little Miss O on it if she forgets too - not with a small sharp kick to the shin though obviously. It's not just a please and a thankyou either, it's acknowledging someone as well. I try to always say hi and smile and it genuinely irritates me when someone doesn't reciprocate at all. It takes nothing to be kind, and means everything.

If you ever want to witness a lack of basic human manners then do call into any major high street retailer on a Saturday afternoon.

2. Women who have bells on their purses. If I'm standing in the local shop and I hear them I fall into a blind panic because I think the cat has followed me up there. I know it's meant as a safety measure and alert them to thieves, but honestly? half the women I've ever come across that have them can never find the bloody purse in their handbag anyway, bells or no bells. So the purse snatcher would have no chance!

3.People who don't pick up their dog poo. It's simply disgusting, It isn't anybody else's responsibility to do and it really only takes 2 seconds of your time.
Nobody wants what has fallen out of your dogs arse on their shoes. If you do this? Then you are a twat. I feel I have to walk around brandishing my own dogs poo in a bag as some sort of trophy!

4. People who automatically assume that if you have a dog, you don't pick up dog poo because some selfish dog owners do not. You also irritate me, lots!

5. Olives. I hate them. They are the most pointless, disgusting things. They do not look sophisticated in a martini either you just look like a toddler has walked past and dropped a grape in it.

6. Loud parenting. When you're in Sainsburys or Aldi, and there is sometimes a Mum, or Dad and they have little Timmy and George with them doing the weekly shopping (Yes I did just steal the names from the Famous Five) and that's lovely, then you hear this:

"No darling you can't have that it has far too much sugar and we don't have sugar in our house do we! Wouldn't you prefer the QUINOA, Can you spell QUINOA George?" before poor George has chance to answer the conversation continues
 "Of course you can! Because you are already reading aren't you darling yes READING clever boy" George is aged 2 by the way, at the most. He is also desperately trying to rip open the packet of snickers he's smuggled into the trolley with his teeth....

7. People who moan about the Government, about the state of the country but don't vote. Yes Mother I'm looking at you.

8. When you are standing in the co-operative buying something wine and there is one person in front of you and you think YES I can get in and out quick, and then? Then they bring out a wad of lottery tickets to check. Why?Why!

9. People who eat crisps or 'loud food' in the cinema! I will actively seek you out and...well tut very loudly because I also hate people talking in the cinema even during the trailers because I LOVE going and enjoy every part of it Things that are guaranteed to drive me insane during a film are:

Eating nachos. Too noisy if you insist on eating crisps pick skips!

Slurping your drink.

Whispering loudly
Rummaging in your popcorn.

Texting - I can see the light you know it's distracting.
Loud kissing. What's the point wasting money to watch the film? Stay in the car!
Bringing a carrier bag in. Why? What could possibly be the need? At least hide your quiet  stash of food in a rucksack or handbag.

People who walk past you to go to the loo loudly exclaiming "sorry" "won't be a tic" I know your being polite but SHUT UP! 

Actually I am know to be a bit prissy during a film, During Twilight New Moon I had to tell off the girls in front for screaming every time Jacob or Edward came on screen. They giggled and carried on doing it so I told a member of staff and they spent the rest of film, glaring back at me and flicking their hair. Mr O spent it muttering about never going with me again, but that may just have been about the Twilight franchise to be honest.

10. People who don't like animals or have no empathy for animals. I feel I cannot trust you I'm sorry.

11. People who claim they don't have time for television. Bollocks.

12. Horrid Henry's parents. They clearly favour Peter it really is no wonder he acts out! Neglectful twats.

13. People who stand too close to you in the Queue. If I can feel your breath on my neck you are too close.I now make a point of moving my large bag around and knock into them with it. Sometimes it works, sometimes you just have to accept the fact their breath will be on your neck until you hit the checkout.

14. Goats cheese.

15. People who 'tut' automatically if you walk into a restaurant with kids! It's as if they assume they are about to start screaming under the table and peeing in their soup. If you are in an adults only kind of place then fine, but if  you do this and it's pizza Express you need to chill out.

I could probably go on but feel it's best to leave it there.

Thanks for reading!

Rachel x

Nobody puts Baby in the corner

These are some of my favourite baby things of Serens! Hand knitted booties, beautiful soft sleepsuit and the best quote I've seen on a babygrow #NobodyPutsBabyInTheCorner.


As I mentioned in my previous blog I have a serious problem when it comes to getting rid of books, particularly my own (Although if I never see another Horrid Henry joke book again then I'll be OK with that)
My books really do feel like old friends, and this is possibly because during my early childhood I didn't actually have many real life friends,
I did once have an imaginary mouse named Marcus but that is a whole other blog! Books were and still are a huge source of comfort to me. If I pick up a certain book it instantly transports me back to a certain time and place.

Take any of Enid Blyton's Famous Five books for instance, they immediately take me back to being Seren's age at my Nains house, where my brother and I would play with our cousins.I'd insist that we act out whichever of the books I was reading at the time, and my Dad would play the villain (which he'd take great delight in doing making us all squeal) I always wanted to be the tomboy George and my poor brother was forced to play Timmy the dog more times than was probably fair on him.

The Diary of Anne Frank reminds me of sitting underneath the tree in the garden of our childhood home, I can literally close my eyes and remember every detail of that afternoon. My Mum would bring me out cups of tea and I'd refuse to move even when it got dusk,because I didn't want to put the book down. I think it was one of the first books I'd ever read where it didn't have the happy ending I had always been used to.
I was a sensitive child anyway but my Mum had to hide that book away so I couldn't see it, as every time I saw Anne Franks face on the front cover it would make me cry.

Adrian Mole reminds me of laughing so hard that my sides hurt, and again was one of the first books I'd read where the family wasn't quite 'perfect' like the families portrayed in so many of my childhood stories. Although the family in the 'Famous Five' does make me raise my judgey pants a little. Packing young children off to an abandoned island with nothing more than lemonade,corned beef sandwiches and a shaggy dog? Asking for trouble if you ask me.

Wuthering Heights reminds me of falling in love for the first time, Bridget Jones Diary reminds me of starting University, and the Yummy Mummy guidebook reminds me of when Mark and I first decided we were going to try for a baby. Then we had a baby. And I launched Liz Fraser's book down the stairs.
Turns out after being up all night with a colicky baby, getting up the next day to throw on some Clarins beauty flash balm and pop to Starbucks and then out for lunch isn't that easy after all. (I still have the book though obviously)

But my difficulty parting with books is nothing compared to how hard I find it to be parted from my daughter's baby things. It is quite frankly obscene the amount of things I have kept,
Things came to a head before Christmas when Mark had to empty the back of the loft. He bought down box after box of baby things, boxes I didn't even remember we'd had.
One entire box was for shoes, yes baby shoes (and it wasn't a small box either) Baby wellington boots for instance. Did I think I was taking my baby splashing through puddles at 3-6 months? Baby trainers, baby peep toe sandals, and even baby clogs. There were some lovely hand knitted baby booties too the only thing on her feet she did actually get the use of.

Then there are the clothes, so many clothes! Beautiful baby grows and cardigans, and some quite frankly ridiculous outfits that I only have myself to blame for. There is a lace and denim outfit that must have been purchased when I was seriously sleep deprived, or I was planning on entering her into a baby Dolly Parton lookalike contest.
There are all her cards from when we were expecting, cards from when Seren was born. newspapers from the day she was born, blankets.toys and yes even the cast that she wore after she had her hip operation.It was gross then, it's still pretty gross now.

As we looked at everything Mark asked me did we need to keep it all. And it made me wonder why I insisted on keeping literally everything up until now.
Originally I kept everything because we thought like many might do, that we'd have another baby straight away. But then Seren needed an operation on her hip at six months old, and caring for her for the following six months literally took up 24 hours a day. There are a handful of people who know how difficult those months were, but suffice to say there was no time to even think about trying for a baby never mind actually having one.
Then, well things didn't go quite the way we'd planned but again, that's a whole other blog for a whole other time.

As Seren got older these keepsakes became less about having another baby,and more about keeping the baby we had if that makes sense. If Seren is to be our only child how could I bear to be parted with any of her special things? But there is special and plain odd and lets face it the smelly plaster cast is odd.
Now Seren is growing up becoming so independent whether my nerves like it or not, she isn't a baby she is growing into an utterly and wonderfully unique young lady, As someone far wiser than me told me you can't keep holding onto the past, but embrace the future. So that's what I'm doing.

Now my Mother, who has threatened to never speak to me again if she appears in any of these blogs (but she doesn't do 'the internet' so how she'll ever find out I'm not sure) is good at many things and one of them is decluttering so she has come down to help me sort out all of Serens baby things.
Mark and I picked the clothes that were extra special to us and will be looking at turning them into a keepsake cushion (or cushions there were a lot of 'extra' special ones ahem)
If anyone has any good links to places that could do this I would be grateful!And anything we could give away to a good cause we have done.

The cards well I couldn't be parted with some of them. Seren was born after such a sad and difficult time for our family, that she bought us all a little bit of sunshine and the cards we received during this time were truly touching so I couldn't let them go, instead I've purchased a huge art file to store them all in which will hopefully stop them from getting as damp and musty too. I'm also going to do this to store all the many paintings and drawings she has done over the years.

The cast has gone! And so have the shoes - if I can give any new Mother out there any advice from me it's don't buy baby wellington boots or peep toe sandals, it may shock you but they won't wear them. I'm mostly annoyed that my Mother was here to witness the shoe collection gathering dust "I told you she'd never wear them" she said and she did. Damn it I hate it when she's right.

The problem is although this decluttering has left me feeling some sense of accomplishment now I've got to start on  everything else and you wouldn't believe the amount of cuddly toys up in that loft..
















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