Friday, 17 February 2017


I recently read through some of my most recent blog posts. The past year has been draining to say the least and I think you can sense that in them. As someone who suffers with anxiety, I can honestly say this past year has been one of the hardest in a long time.
I've struggled and I’ve very much tried to deal with it alone. In doing that I feel like I have alienated people. I’ve not known what to say, or how to act in certain situations. 
If I do find the right words, then I worry that I’m saying the wrong thing! For example, I've gone from someone who would walk into the school playground at pick up ready to start a conversation. To standing on my own and avoiding eye contact, there’s probably three people I’ve actually felt comfortable speaking too. For someone who looks on the outside as a pretty confident person that’s probably strange to hear but it’s nevertheless true.

Amazingly the past few weeks I’ve felt like I’ve come through the other side. I feel like I am finally through the fog., and like a great big weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I feel happy and that I’m 'free' again.

So with that in mind I’m thinking that this blog needs a good dose of fun!

So here’s 50 completely random facts about me:

1 I don’t watch ANY of the soaps. I used to occasionally watch Hollyoaks but lost the will to live when Mercedes got kidnapped for the 987th time. It also has a lot of unrealistic storylines, like trying to make us believe 16 members of one family could live comfortably in a 3 bed semi.

2 I was once Miss B.H.S. Oh. Yes. I thought the catwalks of Rome, Paris and New York awaited me and I would model for Seventeen magazine. It was a bit more catwalk in the Arndale centre, and modelling for catalogue buyers though. Still, I felt like a rock star for a while. That’s if a rock star had a jaunty hip pose and bounced around to Yazz of course.

The only way is up! if up was the Manchester Arndale centre on a Saturday afternoon.

3 I can’t ride a bike.

4 Or drive. There is a hedge at the top of the lane in my village that has never grown back the same after I drove through it on a lesson.

5 I can ride a horse though.

6 I had a huge crush on Shakin’ Stevens as a child.

The British Elvis my Nana said!

7 Wuthering Heights is my favourite book in the whole world and I think it’s darkly romantic. At University I got told this meant I had a twisted view of romance.

8 Which leads me to the fact that I am surprisingly not romantic in the slightest.

9 I am obsessed with Nuclear War.

Rest assured I’m not willing it to happen or anything, but if Trump did go cray and push the button? Then I’d be confident that I know enough stuff to keep us alive. Don’t come knocking at my door though, I know how long the tinned goods need to last. I think it all started when I was a little girl, I had read Children of The Dust by Louise Lawrence and it genuinely frightened me that the world in which we lived could be completely destroyed in a matter of minutes. I was so worried about it happening growing up my parents stopped me reading or watching the news.

10 I still read and watch almost anything post-apocalyptic now, it’s one of my guilty pleasures.

11 I grew up next to a Church and as kids we played in the graveyard. Yup even after dark. Bit disrespectful actually thinking back…..

12 But it might explain why I’m not scared of the dark.

13 I’m the eldest of 4 but for some reason I often feel like the youngest.

14 I have never, ever smoked.

15 I don’t like fizzy drinks.

16 I was born cross eyed in my left eye and had it fixed with an operation as a child. When I am tired though you can probably still notice it.

I also had unfortunate hair, we'll get to that later.

17 I have no 3 D vision.

18 I lived in Aigburth Liverpool for 2 years whilst at University.

19 Liverpool is still one of my favourite cities.

20 I have a big heart but am untrusting unless you prove me wrong, it’s not one of my best qualities really. The un-trusting part that is.

21 I have a cuddly rabbit that I’ve owned my whole life. She’s called Mrs Rabbit and she even came on Honeymoon with me. I was mortified when my carry on got randomly searched at the airport.

22 Savoury over sweet every single time.

23 I once auditioned for the role of Juliet in Baz Luhermans Romeo and Juliet. I went to the 20th Century Fox Offices in Soho Square London for my audition and got quite far in the casting stages. Until they decided to “go a different way”

24 I still can’t look at Claire Danes in the same way, seriously.

Thanks for stealing my life Claire!

25 I cry at game shows I genuinely root for people to win.

26 I can read ridiculously fast.

27 When we were children we had a lovely dog called Toby. He went missing when I was an adult and despite all of our efforts he was never found. I still think about him every single day.

28 My favourite crisps in the world are Salt and Vinegar squares.

29 The worst are Walkers Salt and Vinegar in the green packet. They shouldn’t be classed as crisps.

30 I grew up on the Duke of Westminster’s Estate in Eccleston and I was heartbroken when we left.

31 Winter is my favourite season.

32 My very first Teacher was so unkind to me that even now, when she comes into where I work I cannot bear to look at her.

33 I had an imaginary mouse growing up.

34 I still have one baby tooth and really hate my smile because of it.

35 We had a coal fire growing up and I still LOVE the smell of coal and a real fire.

36 I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 16.

37 My gut feeling is almost always right about people.

38 I was and still am a bookworm.

39 I’ve worked for the same company for 21 years

40 If I could only drink one drink for the rest of my life it would be water, yes really.

41 I love a good conspiracy theory. I enjoy debating them with people for hours on end.

42 I was dumped via text message when texting was still a new thing!

43 My star sign is Gemini and suits me perfectly.

44 I cut off all my hair when I was 3 and my Mum cried.

45 I don’t believe in Ghosts

46 If I could only eat one meal for the rest of my life it would be my Nana’s home cooked chips, runny egg and thinly sliced bread and butter.

47 When my brother was born a visitor joked that she wanted to take him home with her. When she went to leave, I had apparently packed up every single baby thing in the house, put him in the pram and pushed them both out the front door. He is probably one of my best friends now though.

48 I have been told I look like Belinda Carlise ever since I was a teenager.

honestly could never see it.

49 I still wash dishes by hand. Even when we had a dishwasher I washed them by hand!

50 I speak to my Mum on the phone every single day. 

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