Tuesday, 8 November 2016

2016. You Can't Get Any Worse. Can You?

Right 2016, so far you've been a bit of a d*** haven't you?
We've lost some of the greats, Bowie, Prince,Alan Rickman, Victoria wood.
Gene Wilder, Muhammed Ali and Paul Daniels. My Dad bloody loved him. Ali that is. He didn't have strong feelings either way for Paul Daniels as far as I know.
I loved him though, Paul Daniels I'm talking about now.
I used to watch him on Saturday nights as a child, sat on the sofa drinking tea and eating a wagon wheels. Watching him and the lovely Debbie McGee and hoping that one day I too could be a glamorous magicians assistant.
But then Baywatch started and I wanted to wear a red swimsuit and be a lifeguard instead. I never did set my standards very high career wise.

We voted and we 'left' and I was angry and scared and got a bit shouty.
Actually lots of people got angry and scared and a bit shouty. We were all told to calm down about it, told we were being hysterical. Nothing will change they said, it'll be better they said. I'm yet to be convinced.

Brad and Ange broke up and we were shocked and some people found it sad. Some rather enjoyed this news more than they should have, and yes I was one of them I was always #teamjen.
Taylor and Calvin broke up, then Taylor got together with Tom and they broke up but no-one cared all that much about that, well not until she writes a song about it that is.

The Walking Dead killed off Abe AND Glen, I'm still in a bit of shock about that to be honest. They cast Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Neegan though so all is forgiven.

I started blogging, you'd have thought I'd started stripping for tips such as the reaction it caused with some people, but it was good for me to have a place to put all my inner ramblings. Plus it's cheaper than thearpy too so win win.
I thought I might make me some money from it actually, and that just maybe I wouldn't have to work in retail over xmas this year. But I didn't and I do.

Our company made massive changes to it's pay and pension scheme, our jobs aren't looking as secure as we once thought and that's a bit of a worry. Stripping for tips would start looking a bit more likely if it didn't mean shaving your legs all the time and wearing perspex high heels. I have a bad back and wouldn't know where to even buy a pair of perspex high heels to be honest, so it'd never work anyway.

Not a great loss for the stripping world.

As a family we discovered the wonderful world of Dyspraxia, and started the journey of getting a diagnosis, what that involves and how it helps our daughter. We also found how mentally and emotionally exhausting that is, how sometimes people are understanding and lovely and helpful, and sometimes they aren't.

Sometimes you feel happy and hopeful that a diagnosis will help and make a difference, other times you just feel angry and resentful about dyspraxia and wish it would just F*** off.

There are days you just sit and cry because you feel so hopeless, because it isn't something you can make better with a duvet day and some calpol. You can't make the world an easier place for your child to navigate because not everyone sees the world in the same way your child does.
I feel guilty all the time, that I didn't notice sooner, for all the times I got frustrated with her for meltdowns over clothes, loud noises and changes in routines.
I feel guilty that I'm sad about it too. Dyspraxia is classed as a physical disability as it is brain based but I feel like I shouldn't be sad about it, some people have it far worse don't they.

It's just a constant battle with yourself.

It feels like we're on a merry go round of sadness, guilt, frustration, anger and then acceptance, but because we're still in limbo waiting for an official diagnosis the merry go round doesn't stop at acceptance. the ride just starts all over again. I feel like I need to get off but I can't and it's going to go round a few more times yet.
I know that a diagnosis will help her get the support she needs for navigating the rest of her school years, it can only help in the long run, I don't think a diagnosis will help with my guilt though.

So yeah It's not been a great year so far has it? And tonight it could possibly get worse.

Tonight it's the U.S election, it's Trump vs Clinton.

I'm not going to lie with everything we've read in the press recently, with each piece of dirt flung from either side I don't believe either of them have any overwhelming redeeming features.
Clinton's far from from perfect: She's steely calculating and comes across as if she'd sell her own mother to get ahead. Trump looks like the loud, overbearing uncle you try to avoid at parties. He appears as if he drank too much sherry one night and put himself forward, got further than he thought and is fronting it out.

I don't know if have a huge amount of confidence in either of them becoming a world leader to be honest. What I do know is that I don't want my daughter to grow up in a world where the President of the United states, the leader of the free world is a man who thinks grabbing a woman by her pussy is just locker talk. And when it comes down to it I know which of the two I'd trust with the launch code for nuclear weapons, and it's not the loud, overbearing uncle you avoid at parties that's for sure.

Come on 2016 it can't possibly get any worse, can it?


  1. As usual.....BRILLIANT. You have a talent Mrs O

  2. Ah thanks salsascouser!That's lovely x

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