Friday, 25 November 2016

Tis' The Season To Be Jolly! 12 For Anyone Who Works in Retail. At Christmas.

I work in retail and I have done for the past 20 years.
You see my career as an actress and being married to Leonardo Di Caprio didn't quite work out as imagined, or at all actually.

20 years of working the festive season, 20 years of watching seemingly nice, reasonable and respectable women fall apart over the last bag of brussel sprouts on Christmas Eve. Sprouts that everybody buys in blind panic but inevitably get left on the plate.

It's also 20 years of the the sales and people pushing each other out of the way to get to the refund desk to bitterly return the scented drawer liners Auntie Beryl gave them. Again.
By New Year you feel like you've lived through the zombie apocalypse and your not quite sure if you survived it or you're actually one of the zombies.

It's an experience let me tell you.

However, as crazy as it is, as much as we moan about the bad stuff there's almost always a buzz of excitement, and a feeling of camaraderie between you all. When you get customers who smile, who say 'thank you' Who have a laugh and a chat with you, well it makes you forget the bad stuff. Like the man who made you cry the other day over a 5 p carrier bag charge that's the law, or the lady who called you a "Stupid, stupid girl" because we had no swimwear in stock (but you were secretly quite pleased about being called a girl)

So in honour of those of us who work in retail over Christmas here is a lighthearted look at 12 GIFS you may just recognise,



1. When the delivery arrives containing those first items of  Christmas stock.....


So it begins.

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

2016. You Can't Get Any Worse. Can You?

Right 2016, so far you've been a bit of a d*** haven't you?
We've lost some of the greats, Bowie, Prince,Alan Rickman, Victoria wood.
Gene Wilder, Muhammed Ali and Paul Daniels. My Dad bloody loved him. Ali that is. He didn't have strong feelings either way for Paul Daniels as far as I know.
I loved him though, Paul Daniels I'm talking about now.
I used to watch him on Saturday nights as a child, sat on the sofa drinking tea and eating a wagon wheels. Watching him and the lovely Debbie McGee and hoping that one day I too could be a glamorous magicians assistant.
But then Baywatch started and I wanted to wear a red swimsuit and be a lifeguard instead. I never did set my standards very high career wise.