Thursday, 11 August 2016

The 12 stages of a Mums night out Kim Kardashian vs Me


1. Actual reaction when you realise you're not just going out, you are going 'out' out! (On a Tuesday night)


Me.


Kim.



2.  What getting ready looks like

Me.


I hate everything!!

Kim.


Winning at life and clothes b****es!




3. Your reaction when your husband comes upstairs to casually ask if you are ready to go? As you were meant to leave 15 minutes ago....

Me.


Get. Out!

Kim


Down in 5 bae!


 4. Their reaction.

Mr O



wtaf?

Kanye


Kim wtf? I thought you said you'd wear that shit jumper I designed?




5. You arrive with your friends at the bar looking cool and sophisticated, as if going out on a Tuesday night is totally something you do all the time.


Me.




Kim.


Yeah so, I'm here.....


6. You offer to get a round in at the bar. It costs the exact amount you've budgeted for the entire evening.




Me.


"That'll be £47.50 please..."

Kim


Keep the change ya filthy animal...



7. After telling yourself you'll probably only have one or two glasses of wine as you have to be up early in the morning.

Me. 


Kim


*elegant sips*

8. Then someone gets the shots in.

Me.



Kim




9.  When you realise your plan not to get too drunk has failed.



Me.



I'm not drunk! 

Kim



Well I'm F*****

10. Despite telling everyone your on a gluten free, dairy free diet you find yourself eating from a greasy takeaway on the way home.


Me



Kim




11. When you get in and realise how bad your hangovers going to be in the morning.


Me. 

j
What have I done?Why?Why!

Kim 


Meh


12. What you look like the next day.

Me.


"Don't look at the light" "Don't vomit"

Kim


F*ck my life.


Until the next time ladies where we'll no doubt do it all again.

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